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It's me... ya gal
Probably just going to vent whats on my mind and whatnot,,,, Typing and not thinkin tbh and thats the al natural way to do it hoes
 i always love keeping my fans up to date on my life... 

But I'm going to try to journal every day on one note... Right now I'm making steps and trying to improve my overall well being and satisfaction with life, starting with more good habits. I know writing will help me vent out and read my thoughts later... I always think about how i wish JV was active right now so i can go back and read some of those blogs. Basically, my whole life from 13-16(? cant even remember when it shut down anymore rip) I want to know what i was thinking about. How certain things made me feel. I know i was actively blogging, and there are just so many things i want to know about that age, because I can barely remember that time in my life. Tbh, it was rough. However, I feel like I've been the same person ever since i was 13, even though now i know im not. (i was a little more obnoxious tho lmao). Aging is weird, and then after a while it all just merges together. No balls i make my life into a autobiography just for fun 

(I've never figured out how to use the website that shows old screenshots of the website but if someone can guide me let me know my url # was 18006 (i miss that number hoe) 
i also miss my million views on my profile.


Graduated from Highschool and what not and that was cool. Went afterwards to get all you can eat sushi, destroyed that shit and snuck sushi into our bags because if you left any extras, you had to pay for what you didnt eat... we arent about that life.
Had a graduation party, IMO attendance was subpar... was hoping for more family like at holiday celebrations, but i get that people got lives lmao. I feel bad though because a lot of my friends came and i felt like i had to entertain them so they wouldnt get bored, but didnt really talk to anyone.. Now that i think about it shame on me lmao. 
I've still been working at my Job at another taco place called Torchys Tacos lmao. the job is great, i love all my coworkers, Theyre all very wholesome, kind... The front of house kids are cute working their first job or whatever and In the back we have a really strong set of employees, a LOT of them have been working there since its opening, cute mexican staff and they all work so hard, and are all so wholesome i love all of them. 

The general manager of the store is REALLY fond of me for some reason. I understand that I'm a great worker (its tru) but this dude is just really nice to me and i dont know why.. I've been wanting to work with him more, but i never usually do directly, because ive been front of house all that ive worked there. I explained to him that i got exhausted of cashiering 40 hours a week for 3 months because that shit is EXHAUSTING. i see HUNDREDS of people a day and it really burns you out. He was like "Anything to make you happy! How did you want me to organize your schedule?" and like, with others they would tell him a schedule that they wanted (mostly kids on summer who want solid hours but you know that aint happening we all taking days off for something and working different shit all of the time) and be like ya SUrE we will see if thatll happen. Other stuff, but i mean its not that deep. But dude is DEF fond of this hot tamale

During these months of freedom, and as august comes upon us, I really thought about how i wont have to go to school next month and tbh thats so dope. But existing is hard too. I've been working mostly full time since i was 16, (full time now) And with all that work, in order to have the money to buy things that i want, support myself, doing all the things my mom should have for myself... And like yea wow congrats you werent a spoiled 16 year old but it just makes me disappoiinted in which the context it happened. My mom dating a deadbeat pos wasting so muich money on his bum ass and him not paying a dime for jack shit, and then my mom constantly bouncing off job to job, she cant hold a steady opne whether its her doing something wrong, technology replaces her, or recently in the past two years shes gotten into like 3 car wrecks (DESTROYING the cars), and its fucking stupid and frustrating. I really just think a lot of my family either has back luck, or my mom really just cant drive. She has a lazy eye, but i dont feel like that would affect anything??? I want to feel bad but its just fucking old at this point. Her getting hurt, unable to work, and now she has been living with HER PARENTS, my grandparents, for what... its almost going to be a year soon. And most of that time she has barely been able to hold a stable job, last few months just jobless staying in the house doing nothing with her day except wasting it on social media.... and its so frustrating to see her do this shit. She should be my mom hustling for me so she can support me, but shes 44 or some shit and it seems like she doesnt care. She could be out on her ass homeless but my grandparents probably feel bad for me because i wouldnt have anything but they cant just deny her.... we're a close family.. But its frustrating. If that were me you gotta do what you gotta fucking do. Shes just.... ugh. 

My dad broke up with his GF because she was psycho and tried to hit him multiple times  and was homeless for a while till he found a really good warehouse job that treated him well and that he liked, but then he got laid off due to idk the economy or whatever. He was on the bottom so he had to go. This Saturday he was planning his own separate graduation party for his side of the family, to be at this water park or whatever and it was supposed to be fun, and today he tells me hes cancelling it because of "BS" and some other shit. 

Hes being vague about it. When my mom found out about my dad throwing a separate party she got all butt hurt that she couldn't be there (only got butt hurt when it was her who couldn't go hmmm :'( ) so then she thought wow wouldn't this be a great time to make amends with my daughters father because i finally dont want it to be weird and hard on them after giving us 4 years of their stupid hell drama. Now its different, because she broke up with her bf who manipulated her and idk. There was a lot of drama that always goes down that i usually only halfway know about because i try to stay out of it as much as i can. 

However i guess they started talking and hanging out and then my dad did something dumb and my mom blocked him on everything so i feel like it has something to do with that... so now it gets to fall on me and now i dont get to see my family and no celebration or $$$! Ive been thinking about how lame it is that my dad really hasn't done shit for me in the past 4 years. I know he doesn't pay child support and i know hes been going through his own struggles and shit. Its just hard for me to watch them go through this job cycle and life cycle of shittyness that seems to run through our family, and i just dont want to catch any of that shit lmao yeet.

Like i said, ive just been chillin these past few. I definitely like to  be independent, but damn a little help? TThinking about going off the deep end and going out on my own is scary though.
I want to move out of this house but thinking about going on my own and paying stupid high ass rent with shitty minimum wage always gets me thinking about how much i hate capitalism and this country and i get more frustrated with politics than anything. During this time i dont know what im doing in my life. I wanted to spend this time mostly focusing on myself, finding things out, growing, exploring new topics and shit and learning about something i would be interested in, but i know social media is a huge distraction to my life, and working a lot with irregular hours still trying to make time for my friends really do be a chore sometimes. I do take relaxation in my life seriously, however probably not in the most productive way, I just like to lay in bed a lot. I want to focus this though into better habits that are also relaxing and better for me. 

I know i have pretty terrible sleep apnea, which reduced the quality of my sleep to tier level shit. So obviously sometimes i dont feel well rested,,blah blah blah. I tried using a CPAP but it was too constrictive. so i returned it. Felt like a huge failure about that for like 2 weeks haha. :/

I dont know if i told yall but i did get prom queen at my school. I thought about how crazy a year ago was i literally convinced myself everyone hated me and i moved 40 miles away to a nice town called Arvada, Colorado 
[Image: thumb_arvada-colorado-this-sounds-like-a...616838.png]
shoutout to this meme

anyway went to the school out there for like a week, hated it and was so depressed i wanted to move back, and just moved back... I found a new peace as a senior, i spent a lot of time by myself, personal time, because a lot of myself has always been me with others and it was just nice to be more relaxed and chill 24/7.. 

As my car is continued to be considered a "defective vehicle" i got a new 2012 VW Passat shes really boujee and nice and im very satisfied. I'm going to try to take care of this car. If this bitch lasts 2 years like my old bitch i'll be fine haha.we were searching for a good enough car for a ~5k for about 2 months and it was relieving to say the least. Idk what im gonna do with it yet. 

I got a nice new ikea desk from craigslist free and im very happy. Once I keep working im gonna upgrade my shit and add maybe a fuckin mousepad or some boujee shit. 

My oldest dog is turning 13 or some shit the end of this month and i love her so much, she has been there for me since i was 6, and now shes starting to get old and get lil doggy  arthritis in her back hips i feel os bad for her but shes okay for now, we got her checked out and its not too bad. However both dogs are in need of teeth cleanings, and for both of them its probably going to cost like 700$ at least. I've been trying to pull that money to the side... but now i owe 900 dollars for the car, need to get plates and shit, check insurance, bought a new phone so payments gonna increase car fixtures, new upgrades etc etc... 

I have 2k saved that i want to put into one of those things that people keep track of the money and over time it turns intop like a million dollars by the time i retire so i wont have to worry about it... however im skeptical because i dont wanna put money into something and then donald trump puts us onto another great depression and then i lose all the money. (is that how that works? dont know lmao still need to do some more research)

lets overthrow jeff bezos, make unions, overthrow the government, destroy capitalism, etc etc. Im ready for that revolution 

I;m  trying to think of what else i've had on my mind.... 
I kind of want to get rid of my friends i got from TB cause i mean theyre okay but theyre problematic and tbh i cant tell if i dont wanna be their friends or whats going on. I just feel more irritated than anything with them. I need to meet new people and shit.

I've been thinking about getting the Nexplanon birth control that they put in your arm out of me. Its been two years i think since the whole pregnancy thing went down and i feel like the birth control is giving me terrible acne and other bad side effects. I'm not planning on fucking anyone anyway... all dudes are crusty

and my brother is just chillin doing his own thing so idc we both smokin da mota and tryin to live our best life. 
Yersterday tested my patience, and its a long story but im writing a detailed complaint to a supervisor why i was pissed so anyway ill be over it soon anyway...
Trying to push myself to be the better me.

TLDR; we wildin and idk if this is too detailed and i shouldnt have put it up lmao post opinions below
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[-] The following 4 users say Thank You to Pinky for this post:
  • Alice, Dootany, Pandoras Fox, y'a pas moyen
Since you're not making a depressed blog for the first time in a long while, I guess it's a good time to tell you that you should learn how to clean up huge blocks of text so they are more readable :P
(and yes, I'm referring to proper grammar and shit)

That being said, regarding your question about retirement funds, investments have different risk profiles associated to them. There are safe investments that are almost impossible to lose on (the safest kind of investment is typically considered to be the US treasury bonds, since the only way you'd lose money there would be for both the US economy and the US dollar to disappear, and that's just not happening), and there are risky investments that pay a lot of money quickly but also could make you lose money just as quickly (consider Bitcoin, which made people win or lose over 30% of their money in a week).
All in all, if you have idle money, you should try seeking advice, particularly if you want to keep that fund growing. While financial advisors will take a cut of your money, their whole job purpose is to make you win more money than they'll take away from you.

It seems like your environment is slowly improving, so you might want to just sit and wait. But if it gets too bad, if you're thinking of moving, you can always consider moving further away, potentially to a cheaper area. There's a difference between living one kilometer away from your family and living 500 km away, but it has both its good and bad sides.
And if you have the option at all, try to acquire some skills that will let you move away from the unskilled entry-level job market — if your job can be carried out by any high-school graduate with a couple months/years of experience, you'll eventually be replaced by one of them as you grow older, since they are going to be willing to work in worse conditions and for less money.

I'm not sure about what to say about the rest of your blog, other than good luck, I guess.
If you need to contact me for any reason, or if you have any questions, concerns, problems or requests, message me here or email me at

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As far as finances are concerned, I would recommend investing in an ETF or Exchange-Traded Fund. There are a bunch of them to choose from depending on your risk tolerance. 3% annual gains is the bare minimum you should aim for as that's equal to the annual rate of inflation. Anything less than that and you're actually losing money. The same thing applies to savings accounts. Most banks have an interest rate far lower than the rate of inflation, meaning that while your dollar amount will increase year after year, the actual buying power of that money is less.
Idk but are you sure you can't just try to clean your dog's teeth yourself instead of paying $700?
that part about wanting to read old blogs on JV is fucking relatable af, I had so many blogs, what the fuck did I write in all of those


while there seems to be quite some shit in this blog, you seem to be doing pretty good despite it all. Hope the job keeps going well and you can save some money to finance everything for your dogs and maybe to move out somewhere in the next couple years.
Working on a better future
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All kinds of shitty music:
(2018-07-31 11:09:11)Dootany Wrote: that part about wanting to read old blogs on JV is fucking relatable af, I had so many blogs, what the fuck did I write in all of those


while there seems to be quite some shit in this blog, you seem to be doing pretty good despite it all. Hope the job keeps going well and you can save some money to finance everything for your dogs and maybe to move out somewhere in the next couple years.

Part of me wants to go back and look at like.... me.... from that time, but also I'm SUPER glad that everything from back then got buried.
In response to your finances paragraph, while at university, I had opened an Acorns account and gained about 10% annually from it. Definitely recommend one of those apps since there are no fees for college students.

Good luck!

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