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What was the hardest thing you ever had to learn?
#21
(2019-08-17 01:39:41)TheWicked Wrote:
(2019-08-10 18:30:25)Mystery Wrote: How to be nice. How to not irritate people. I don't know why, but I've struggled when it comes to me trying to be nice to people, but I'm really glad that I've gotten better about it. Even though I might not be perfect, I'd at least like to think I'm much kinder and less annoying than I used to be.
Why bother? Sooner or later someone will just take your kindness for granted and abuse it for their own gain.
Stop caring about treating people kindly and start looking out for yourself.

Because the vast majority of people aren't that way, and will happily look after you in return. The fact that you have recently met a bunch of bad apples (as is visible from your posts everywhere) doesn't change the fact that most people aren't that way.
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#22
You are never going to get the time back you wasted and you're never going to change the things you did in the past. Sure, you can work on yourself and make sure you don't repeat the mistakes, you learn your lessons from your regrets. Yet there are some things you might have done in your past that are irreversible and that will affect your life forever.

This has been a nagging thought during my last year of improving aspects of my life and is something that just hits me from time to time when things aren't going as well as I'd like. I'm in a way better place than I was one and a half year ago and I keep improving my life, but sometimes it still feels bad that I'm not further in my life because I spent years of my life not progressing at all.
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#23
(2019-08-21 21:03:57)Dootany Wrote: You are never going to get the time back you wasted and you're never going to change the things you did in the past. Sure, you can work on yourself and make sure you don't repeat the mistakes, you learn your lessons from your regrets. Yet there are some things you might have done in your past that are irreversible and that will affect your life forever.

This has been a nagging thought during my last year of improving aspects of my life and is something that just hits me from time to time when things aren't going as well as I'd like. I'm in a way better place than I was one and a half year ago and I keep improving my life, but sometimes it still feels bad that I'm not further in my life because I spent years of my life not progressing at all.

I'd just like to say that your life is a lot more than just a few years you've wasted, or the few years that they've impacted you thereafter. There's so much more ahead, and you're still a youngin'!

• єиα •
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#24
(2019-08-22 02:48:53)Ena Wrote:
(2019-08-21 21:03:57)Dootany Wrote: You are never going to get the time back you wasted and you're never going to change the things you did in the past. Sure, you can work on yourself and make sure you don't repeat the mistakes, you learn your lessons from your regrets. Yet there are some things you might have done in your past that are irreversible and that will affect your life forever.

This has been a nagging thought during my last year of improving aspects of my life and is something that just hits me from time to time when things aren't going as well as I'd like. I'm in a way better place than I was one and a half year ago and I keep improving my life, but sometimes it still feels bad that I'm not further in my life because I spent years of my life not progressing at all.

I'd just like to say that your life is a lot more than just a few years you've wasted, or the few years that they've impacted you thereafter. There's so much more ahead, and you're still a youngin'!

I mean, I know that all, and I know it's stupid to think negatively about things I can't change. Yet still I wish I was further in life in all kinds of aspects. Lots of my friends have traveled to far away places, are already workng fulltime and thinking about buying a house next year, have lived on their own, have dated or have a girlfriend. I'm doing my best to turn it into something positive/motivation* to fulfill these goals myself, but when there are setbacks it's something I feel bad about for myself.

* Going to work next to my study the next couple of years, travelling to the USA next year, thinking of doing my master in another city to also have some experience living on my own, have dated a couple of people and started becoming more comfortable talking to people
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#25
(2019-08-22 08:06:12)Dootany Wrote:
(2019-08-22 02:48:53)Ena Wrote:
(2019-08-21 21:03:57)Dootany Wrote: You are never going to get the time back you wasted and you're never going to change the things you did in the past. Sure, you can work on yourself and make sure you don't repeat the mistakes, you learn your lessons from your regrets. Yet there are some things you might have done in your past that are irreversible and that will affect your life forever.

This has been a nagging thought during my last year of improving aspects of my life and is something that just hits me from time to time when things aren't going as well as I'd like. I'm in a way better place than I was one and a half year ago and I keep improving my life, but sometimes it still feels bad that I'm not further in my life because I spent years of my life not progressing at all.

I'd just like to say that your life is a lot more than just a few years you've wasted, or the few years that they've impacted you thereafter. There's so much more ahead, and you're still a youngin'!

I mean, I know that all, and I know it's stupid to think negatively about things I can't change. Yet still I wish I was further in life in all kinds of aspects. Lots of my friends have traveled to far away places, are already workng fulltime and thinking about buying a house next year, have lived on their own, have dated or have a girlfriend. I'm doing my best to turn it into something positive/motivation* to fulfill these goals myself, but when there are setbacks it's something I feel bad about for myself.

* Going to work next to my study the next couple of years, travelling to the USA next year, thinking of doing my master in another city to also have some experience living on my own, have dated a couple of people and started becoming more comfortable talking to people

Very little time in your life is truly wasted. If you learned something from the experience, it definitely wasn't.
People make different life choices and have different priorities in their lives. Life isn't some linear race where people get ahead or behind of others; you can only measure your success or failure with respect to your own goals, and that in turn requires having realistic goals in the first place.

It's perfectly okay to not have experienced some things your friends have. You probably have experienced things they haven't, as well. It's all about making happen the things that you want to happen — don't forget to think about what you want, regardless of what you see others doing.
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#26
(2019-08-20 07:54:59)aaaaaa123456789 Wrote:
(2019-08-17 01:39:41)TheWicked Wrote:
(2019-08-10 18:30:25)Mystery Wrote: How to be nice. How to not irritate people. I don't know why, but I've struggled when it comes to me trying to be nice to people, but I'm really glad that I've gotten better about it. Even though I might not be perfect, I'd at least like to think I'm much kinder and less annoying than I used to be.
Why bother? Sooner or later someone will just take your kindness for granted and abuse it for their own gain. Stop caring about treating people kindly and start looking out for yourself.
Because the vast majority of people aren't that way, and will happily look after you in return. The fact that you have recently met a bunch of bad apples (as is visible from your posts everywhere) doesn't change the fact that most people aren't that way.

Not recently, pretty much throughout my entire life.
I've met nice people of course, but they're not exactly people I relate well with.

But when I do find someone I connect well with, it seems like it only becomes a matter of time before their true colours are revealed to me.

Seems like most people I meet usually fit into two categories:

1. Nice and dull
or
2. Exciting and dangerous

What happened to the exciting people who are also nice?



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#27
(2019-08-23 08:30:19)aaaaaa123456789 Wrote: Very little time in your life is truly wasted. If you learned something from the experience, it definitely wasn't. People make different life choices and have different priorities in their lives. Life isn't some linear race where people get ahead or behind of others; you can only measure your success or failure with respect to your own goals, and that in turn requires having realistic goals in the first place. It's perfectly okay to not have experienced some things your friends have. You probably have experienced things they haven't, as well. It's all about making happen the things that you want to happen — don't forget to think about what you want, regardless of what you see others doing.

Rationally I know all this and it's my main mindset about it all, but sometimes that feeling still creeps in
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#28
(2019-08-21 21:03:57)Dootany Wrote: You are never going to get the time back you wasted and you're never going to change the things you did in the past. Sure, you can work on yourself and make sure you don't repeat the mistakes, you learn your lessons from your regrets. Yet there are some things you might have done in your past that are irreversible and that will affect your life forever.

This has been a nagging thought during my last year of improving aspects of my life and is something that just hits me from time to time when things aren't going as well as I'd like. I'm in a way better place than I was one and a half year ago and I keep improving my life, but sometimes it still feels bad that I'm not further in my life because I spent years of my life not progressing at all.

I don't know if this will be helpful because I actually agree with you to an extent. I know quite a few people that are way ahead of me in just about every dimension of life. They had everything figured out long before I even started working on my issues. I often feel that I'll never "catch up" to some of them no matter how hard I work.

However, I no longer think its quite as black and white an issue as I thought. A lot of the people who I used to think were perfect happened to be quite boring when I talked to them. I feel like because they didn't have to struggle, they take a lot of their success for granted. From my own personal experience, having social anxiety for most of my life made me more grateful for the ability to talk to people. Getting fired from my first job sucked but when I got a new job, I was the happiest person there. 

Also nobody is perfect and nobody gets through life without making a few mistakes. If you look at even the most successful people, you'll see that quite a few of them have had some point in their life in which they weren't doing well. 

I also recommend this article. I go back to it from time to time.

I'm rooting for you.
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#29
(2019-08-23 20:48:46)Ali Wrote:
(2019-08-21 21:03:57)Dootany Wrote: You are never going to get the time back you wasted and you're never going to change the things you did in the past. Sure, you can work on yourself and make sure you don't repeat the mistakes, you learn your lessons from your regrets. Yet there are some things you might have done in your past that are irreversible and that will affect your life forever.

This has been a nagging thought during my last year of improving aspects of my life and is something that just hits me from time to time when things aren't going as well as I'd like. I'm in a way better place than I was one and a half year ago and I keep improving my life, but sometimes it still feels bad that I'm not further in my life because I spent years of my life not progressing at all.

I don't know if this will be helpful because I actually agree with you to an extent. I know quite a few people that are way ahead of me in just about every dimension of life. They had everything figured out long before I even started working on my issues. I often feel that I'll never "catch up" to some of them no matter how hard I work.

However, I no longer think its quite as black and white an issue as I thought. A lot of the people who I used to think were perfect happened to be quite boring when I talked to them. I feel like because they didn't have to struggle, they take a lot of their success for granted. From my own personal experience, having social anxiety for most of my life made me more grateful for the ability to talk to people. Getting fired from my first job sucked but when I got a new job, I was the happiest person there. 

Also nobody is perfect and nobody gets through life without making a few mistakes. If you look at even the most successful people, you'll see that quite a few of them have had some point in their life in which they weren't doing well. 

I also recommend this article. I go back to it from time to time.

I'm rooting for you.

Yeah, there's definetely truth in being more grateful through certain struggles. I don't have time to read it right now, but I bookmarked the article and will read it later. Thanks for this perspective Smile
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#30
(2019-08-23 14:57:24)TheWicked Wrote: Seems like most people I meet usually fit into two categories:

1. Nice and dull
or
2. Exciting and dangerous

What happened to the exciting people who are also nice?

Have you thought that, perhaps, what excites you is also what makes them not nice?
If you need to contact me for any reason, or if you have any questions, concerns, problems or requests, message me here or email me at aaaaaa123456789@acidch.at.

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