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PTSD
#1
I want to talk about something that's been bothering me for years.

I think about this every day, among other things, but I'll talk about this only for now.

So, when I was little, my mom beat me up for "discipline".

In south america, it's socially acceptable to beat up your kids for "discipline".

Anyway, I didn't like that, so as I grew up, I hit her back. Yes, I hit my mom, but only after she hit me.

Well, that ended terribly.

Because my entire family was like

YOU CAN'T HIT WOMEN!
YOU CAN'T HIT YOUR MOM!
SHE'S YOUR MOM! SHE'S YOUR GUARDIAN! YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING TO HER!

And whenever a problem happened, all of them got against me and didn't even bother to hear my side of the story.

I'm gonna be honest:

These problems don't happen as much anymore, mainly because I've been trying to avoid them, I'm just "surviving" until I get to move out with my dad.

But I still feel scared, nervous and sad about my family liking women more than men, or siding with my mom without bothering to hear me out.

They've said things like "Women are precious, men are dumb" (My uncle and male cousins included) or "You can't hit women, that's for gays".

But NEVER, EVER have they said "Don't hit him! He's just a boy!".

I hate how they have to say "Don't hit women", why couldn't they say "Don't hit ANYONE"... No one deserves to be hit, regardless of gender, I find it fucking annoying and horrible that in my entire life I'm gonna be worth less to my family just because I was born with a dick.

This sexism has extended to other areas in my life (School mainly) but my family bothers me more.

I wanted to say this because I don't know what to do.
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#2
It's good to say stuff and not bottle up yea

I do not know what to say really otherwise as all situations are different, but I would hope now that you're older and especially after you do the move then they won't see you as "just a kid that needs teaching" anymore
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#3
Remember when feminism was treating both genders equally? Not putting women on pedestals. Maybe a controversial opinion, but yeah. If a girl hits a guy, the guy should have every right to retaliate, and vice versa. It's self-defense.

Sorry to hear. Hopefully things work out, and try to hang your head high.
Nothing like 20 hours of sleep to really work up an appetite.

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#4
Its the same beating children up shit with brown families like mine as well. I grew up as a Muslim and they drill it into you that your parents are basically royalty and you have to obey them no matter what (they don't ever talk about child abuse despite it being a problem and probably worse than "disrespecting your parents"). This wouldn't be that much of an issue if my dad wasn't batshit insane. I tried for most of my life to listen to my parents because I didn't want to go to hell and it made my life miserable. Only after I met my best friend and other people with more normal families did I realize how outrageous the entire thing was.

I don't know if you will resonate with this but the subreddit r/raisedbynarcissists is a community I really could relate to.

https://old.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/

My advice would be to save up as much money as possible, learn valuable skills and make as many friends as you can because they can help give you validation that what happened to you was wrong.
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