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Life Goes On
#1
Sup, I'm Residays.

I wrote a document regarding my guilts and my friends were alright with it, so I've finally got some closure.

This document is related to a few JV people (Mostly Savlonic but she doesn't visit this place anymore)

Well, anyway, university is going well, maths is hard for me but I'm doing more or less there, enough to approve... So far, because the real semester hasn't started, I'm in a "starting area" of some sorts.

I've made... MORE friends. Like seriously, this is the first time in my life where I've had a considerable amount of friends, even if I don't know them that well yet, we're all getting along very nicely, and I added a lot of them on Facebook (I currently don't have a phone for WhatsApp).

Regarding the laptop:

My aunt fucked up and left the package in the US airport, my cousin recovered it and decided to ship it to me instead, however, shipping is done on cargo, which means it's gonna arrive in like... Christmas.

Anyway, with that out of the way.

I've come to understand that if I suicide, I'm just gonna make things worse for others, and while I can't promise I'm gonna stay like this forever, I'm certainly feeling a lot better than before and I apologize for my suicidal posts.

I am unable to move to Chile after the hellish situation it's going through, so my plan is to graduate from engineering here (Education is free) but it'll take 4 years, but I could then become indepedent and possibly move to Argentina (According to Ax6, emmigrating there is pretty easy, and from what I googled it seems to be true).

I also plan to start streaming when I get the laptop, possibly grow a small fanbase and get money from donations for my future life plans and buy some things I can't yet.
My avatar comes from https://thegamercat.com/
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#2
Good for you.
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#3
(2019-11-27 22:24:39)Jeremiah Wrote: Good for you.

Thank you Jeremiah, very cool.
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#4
I know how you feel. I treated so many people on JV so badly. I called people ugly, I ratted people out, and pretty much everything under the sun that's treating people badly. I lied about having epilepsy and being transgender basically to get attention. Those were horrible things to lie about. I was afraid to sign up to Acid Forums. Wanna know why? Cause I treated aaaaaa123456789 like shit in Ask a Mod on JV. I treated Ena poorly, I treated Suuper poorly, I treated basically everyone poorly except for a few, and the few I didn't treat poorly, I built the friendship on lies. I lied about being a girl cause I thought people would give me more attention, but I had past posts saying I was a guy, so I lied about being transgender instead of coming clean and being a decent person. Someone actually apologized to me on Steam like 6 years ago for calling me out in the past about saying I'm a guy. They drew me a picture of a sheep (for reference, I was Sheepit on JV). Instead of coming clean, I told them "It's okay." I wish I could get in a big room with everyone from JV and apologize for each thing that I can remember saying, but they probably don't even remember or even care. It does feel better to get out in the open though.

Aaaanyway, this is your blog, not mine. I'm glad your university studies are going well! I'm glad you made some friends, friends make life a lot happier. I'm sorry to hear about your laptop, hopefully it does finally get delivered to you. As for your conclusion about suicide, I agree. I was in a dark place myself for a while, but I snapped out of it and realized how selfish it was to even consider. It emotionally damages everyone that cares about you, even when you think no one does. There are people that care about you whether you realize it or not, most times. I hope wherever you plan on moving to, that it becomes possible. And I'm sorry about guilt tripping you on Steam and blocking you some years back, if you even remember that. (I'm sure bringing this crap up will jog people's memories =P)

AAAAAAAANNNYWAAAAAAY

Best of luck to you and your future endeavors!
Was she reality or just a dream to me

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#5
(2019-11-28 12:17:38)Mystery Wrote: I know how you feel. I treated so many people on JV so badly. I called people ugly, I ratted people out, and pretty much everything under the sun that's treating people badly. I lied about having epilepsy and being transgender basically to get attention. Those were horrible things to lie about. I was afraid to sign up to Acid Forums. Wanna know why? Cause I treated aaaaaa123456789 like shit in Ask a Mod on JV. I treated Ena poorly, I treated Suuper poorly, I treated basically everyone poorly except for a few, and the few I didn't treat poorly, I built the friendship on lies. I lied about being a girl cause I thought people would give me more attention, but I had past posts saying I was a guy, so I lied about being transgender instead of coming clean and being a decent person. Someone actually apologized to me on Steam like 6 years ago for calling me out in the past about saying I'm a guy. They drew me a picture of a sheep (for reference, I was Sheepit on JV). Instead of coming clean, I told them "It's okay." I wish I could get in a big room with everyone from JV and apologize for each thing that I can remember saying, but they probably don't even remember or even care. It does feel better to get out in the open though. Aaaanyway, this is your blog, not mine. I'm glad your university studies are going well! I'm glad you made some friends, friends make life a lot happier. I'm sorry to hear about your laptop, hopefully it does finally get delivered to you. As for your conclusion about suicide, I agree. I was in a dark place myself for a while, but I snapped out of it and realized how selfish it was to even consider. It emotionally damages everyone that cares about you, even when you think no one does. There are people that care about you whether you realize it or not, most times. I hope wherever you plan on moving to, that it becomes possible. And I'm sorry about guilt tripping you on Steam and blocking you some years back, if you even remember that. (I'm sure bringing this crap up will jog people's memories =P) AAAAAAAANNNYWAAAAAAY Best of luck to you and your future endeavors!

Thanks for your post, and if it makes you feel better, I don't remember that guilt tripping incident... how did it even happen, anyway?
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#6
(2019-11-28 13:22:45)Residays Wrote:
(2019-11-28 12:17:38)Mystery Wrote: I know how you feel. I treated so many people on JV so badly. I called people ugly, I ratted people out, and pretty much everything under the sun that's treating people badly. I lied about having epilepsy and being transgender basically to get attention. Those were horrible things to lie about. I was afraid to sign up to Acid Forums. Wanna know why? Cause I treated aaaaaa123456789 like shit in Ask a Mod on JV. I treated Ena poorly, I treated Suuper poorly, I treated basically everyone poorly except for a few, and the few I didn't treat poorly, I built the friendship on lies. I lied about being a girl cause I thought people would give me more attention, but I had past posts saying I was a guy, so I lied about being transgender instead of coming clean and being a decent person. Someone actually apologized to me on Steam like 6 years ago for calling me out in the past about saying I'm a guy. They drew me a picture of a sheep (for reference, I was Sheepit on JV). Instead of coming clean, I told them "It's okay." I wish I could get in a big room with everyone from JV and apologize for each thing that I can remember saying, but they probably don't even remember or even care. It does feel better to get out in the open though. Aaaanyway, this is your blog, not mine. I'm glad your university studies are going well! I'm glad you made some friends, friends make life a lot happier. I'm sorry to hear about your laptop, hopefully it does finally get delivered to you. As for your conclusion about suicide, I agree. I was in a dark place myself for a while, but I snapped out of it and realized how selfish it was to even consider. It emotionally damages everyone that cares about you, even when you think no one does. There are people that care about you whether you realize it or not, most times. I hope wherever you plan on moving to, that it becomes possible. And I'm sorry about guilt tripping you on Steam and blocking you some years back, if you even remember that. (I'm sure bringing this crap up will jog people's memories =P) AAAAAAAANNNYWAAAAAAY Best of luck to you and your future endeavors!

Thanks for your post, and if it makes you feel better, I don't remember that guilt tripping incident... how did it even happen, anyway?

If I recall correctly, you added a non-Steam game to your account that was kinda poking fun at depression (I think) and I was like "I can't be friends with someone that mocks a serious issue" and then blocked you. Basically trying to make you feel guilty about it. I might be remembering it wrong, but something like that.
Was she reality or just a dream to me

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#7
(2019-11-28 13:42:21)Mystery Wrote:
(2019-11-28 13:22:45)Residays Wrote:
(2019-11-28 12:17:38)Mystery Wrote: I know how you feel. I treated so many people on JV so badly. I called people ugly, I ratted people out, and pretty much everything under the sun that's treating people badly. I lied about having epilepsy and being transgender basically to get attention. Those were horrible things to lie about. I was afraid to sign up to Acid Forums. Wanna know why? Cause I treated aaaaaa123456789 like shit in Ask a Mod on JV. I treated Ena poorly, I treated Suuper poorly, I treated basically everyone poorly except for a few, and the few I didn't treat poorly, I built the friendship on lies. I lied about being a girl cause I thought people would give me more attention, but I had past posts saying I was a guy, so I lied about being transgender instead of coming clean and being a decent person. Someone actually apologized to me on Steam like 6 years ago for calling me out in the past about saying I'm a guy. They drew me a picture of a sheep (for reference, I was Sheepit on JV). Instead of coming clean, I told them "It's okay." I wish I could get in a big room with everyone from JV and apologize for each thing that I can remember saying, but they probably don't even remember or even care. It does feel better to get out in the open though. Aaaanyway, this is your blog, not mine. I'm glad your university studies are going well! I'm glad you made some friends, friends make life a lot happier. I'm sorry to hear about your laptop, hopefully it does finally get delivered to you. As for your conclusion about suicide, I agree. I was in a dark place myself for a while, but I snapped out of it and realized how selfish it was to even consider. It emotionally damages everyone that cares about you, even when you think no one does. There are people that care about you whether you realize it or not, most times. I hope wherever you plan on moving to, that it becomes possible. And I'm sorry about guilt tripping you on Steam and blocking you some years back, if you even remember that. (I'm sure bringing this crap up will jog people's memories =P) AAAAAAAANNNYWAAAAAAY Best of luck to you and your future endeavors!
Thanks for your post, and if it makes you feel better, I don't remember that guilt tripping incident... how did it even happen, anyway?
If I recall correctly, you added a non-Steam game to your account that was kinda poking fun at depression (I think) and I was like "I can't be friends with someone that mocks a serious issue" and then blocked you. Basically trying to make you feel guilty about it. I might be remembering it wrong, but something like that.

ebic
soz
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#8
I think when JV was around most of us were teenagers doing dumb things for little to no reason. I pretended to be an older girl on my first account for attention (though considering I'm trans now maybe this was more subconscious than I thought) and then when I made a second account being myself, I still used the first account for attention. The way I treated some people was awful too, some of them in particular I was so horrible to they've become some of the larger regrets in my life, but I have no way of contacting them now

Sorry for venting, I guess what I'm tryin to say is I know how you feel, and I'm glad you've been able to get at least some closure and come to terms with things, it's a hard thing to do and I respect you for that. I hope things get better for you real soon.



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#9
You were very brave to create that drive document and face all your regrets. I hope that you've found some closure now and that you can move on from them! Remember, moving on isn't forgetting or losing those experiences, it's acknowledging that you've faced them, and have grown from them. I wish you all the best luck in this journey, but you have taken such a massive step that I'm absolutely in awe. Smile

It's great to hear that you've made a lot of friends, but I will caution about quality and not quantity (some lucky people can do both though!). Also judging by your past blogs, sometimes having a lot of friends/lots of social time can overwhelm you (?), so remember to also take some time out for yourself. You are more than just the people you connect yourself with, after all.

All in all, just glad to hear you're in a better place than before. You definitely still have some obstacles to come, but you also have goals and plans to achieve those goals, which is important! Never give up! I'm cheering for you!

(2019-11-28 12:17:38)Mystery Wrote: I treated Ena poorly

If it means anything at all, I forgive you and haven't held it against you at all.
Frankly, getting to know the community through my role as a Mod wasn't easy (remember no one knew who I was when I became a Mod? haha). I dealt with a lot of hate, and similarly with a lot of obsession because of the colourful name. I never really held it against anyone, because I knew there were always moments where I could connect with these people regardless of all that. We might have had similar interests, ideas or curiosities, and we were both human with our own passions and own issues on either end. Didn't really matter to me what happened in the public domain because all of that was filtered through the social climate and pressures of JV. /rant

• єиα •
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#10
I'm happy for you, I hope you continue to make friends.

Also, I don't think there's a person alive that doesn't do stupid shit in their teen years. I don't know what exactly you did that's causing you so much guilt but considering the fact that the brain is not fully developed until you are 25 years old, I suspect that you have been far too hard on yourself
"anyway.. why do people keep saying my name? i don't sim anymore lol"
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#11
Interesting read. Usually I don't like bringing up this in public, but I too have Asperger's Syndrome. I personally don't think Autism and Asperger's are that alike due to meeting a person with Autism once. He was a classmate in the last school I attended before dropping out, and it was near impossible to communicate with him sadly, although I saw he tried. I also think you shouldn't be so hard on yourself, I did some pretty stupid stuff in the past too, didn't we all :)

If you ever wanna talk, you could add me on discord if you want to: IcyMind#6286
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message me on discord if you want uncensored version :3
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#12
(2019-11-28 12:17:38)Mystery Wrote: I know how you feel. I treated so many people on JV so badly. I called people ugly, I ratted people out, and pretty much everything under the sun that's treating people badly. I lied about having epilepsy and being transgender basically to get attention. Those were horrible things to lie about. I was afraid to sign up to Acid Forums. Wanna know why? Cause I treated aaaaaa123456789 like shit in Ask a Mod on JV. I treated Ena poorly, I treated Suuper poorly, I treated basically everyone poorly except for a few, and the few I didn't treat poorly, I built the friendship on lies. I lied about being a girl cause I thought people would give me more attention, but I had past posts saying I was a guy, so I lied about being transgender instead of coming clean and being a decent person. Someone actually apologized to me on Steam like 6 years ago for calling me out in the past about saying I'm a guy. They drew me a picture of a sheep (for reference, I was Sheepit on JV). Instead of coming clean, I told them "It's okay." I wish I could get in a big room with everyone from JV and apologize for each thing that I can remember saying, but they probably don't even remember or even care. It does feel better to get out in the open though.

Aaaanyway, this is your blog, not mine. I'm glad your university studies are going well! I'm glad you made some friends, friends make life a lot happier. I'm sorry to hear about your laptop, hopefully it does finally get delivered to you. As for your conclusion about suicide, I agree. I was in a dark place myself for a while, but I snapped out of it and realized how selfish it was to even consider. It emotionally damages everyone that cares about you, even when you think no one does. There are people that care about you whether you realize it or not, most times. I hope wherever you plan on moving to, that it becomes possible. And I'm sorry about guilt tripping you on Steam and blocking you some years back, if you even remember that. (I'm sure bringing this crap up will jog people's memories =P)

AAAAAAAANNNYWAAAAAAY

Best of luck to you and your future endeavors!

holy shittt this brought back so many memories on jv did you ever find your dad then or was that a lie too. Mann its mad to think that avoiding coppa on jv was a big part of my childhood


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#13
(2019-11-30 18:37:43)Zenas Wrote:
(2019-11-28 12:17:38)Mystery Wrote: I know how you feel. I treated so many people on JV so badly. I called people ugly, I ratted people out, and pretty much everything under the sun that's treating people badly. I lied about having epilepsy and being transgender basically to get attention. Those were horrible things to lie about. I was afraid to sign up to Acid Forums. Wanna know why? Cause I treated aaaaaa123456789 like shit in Ask a Mod on JV. I treated Ena poorly, I treated Suuper poorly, I treated basically everyone poorly except for a few, and the few I didn't treat poorly, I built the friendship on lies. I lied about being a girl cause I thought people would give me more attention, but I had past posts saying I was a guy, so I lied about being transgender instead of coming clean and being a decent person. Someone actually apologized to me on Steam like 6 years ago for calling me out in the past about saying I'm a guy. They drew me a picture of a sheep (for reference, I was Sheepit on JV). Instead of coming clean, I told them "It's okay." I wish I could get in a big room with everyone from JV and apologize for each thing that I can remember saying, but they probably don't even remember or even care. It does feel better to get out in the open though.

Aaaanyway, this is your blog, not mine. I'm glad your university studies are going well! I'm glad you made some friends, friends make life a lot happier. I'm sorry to hear about your laptop, hopefully it does finally get delivered to you. As for your conclusion about suicide, I agree. I was in a dark place myself for a while, but I snapped out of it and realized how selfish it was to even consider. It emotionally damages everyone that cares about you, even when you think no one does. There are people that care about you whether you realize it or not, most times. I hope wherever you plan on moving to, that it becomes possible. And I'm sorry about guilt tripping you on Steam and blocking you some years back, if you even remember that. (I'm sure bringing this crap up will jog people's memories =P)

AAAAAAAANNNYWAAAAAAY

Best of luck to you and your future endeavors!

holy shittt this brought back so many memories on jv did you ever find your dad then or was that a lie too. Mann its mad to think that avoiding coppa on jv was a big part of my childhood

Yeah, that was a lie too. I lied about so much messed up stuff that I deeply regret now.
Was she reality or just a dream to me

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