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I think I gotta give up making IT society but instead become a civil servant.
#1
Then without having any dreams I would be able to live steadily.
Throwing many dreams such as becoming a VTuber, improving Japan-Korea relationship, and so on, may I have no ideas what I really would like to do any more. Though, I recently learned developing some software in POSIX-compliant shellscript, the software would live for some decades.

PS. Remembered that I have never thought of IT society almost at all.
2nd. But guess what! Never have I even think of suiciding! This is the good news I think of.
3rd. Googled what kind of civil servant there are, then found out there are what are related to what I have ever learned so far! What a good news.
4th. At this point I haven't learned what to solve when I would take some exams for application.
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